


Turtle

by Mooseknucklesss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Crack until the day i die, M/M, Other, Poor tomato, dubious animagus transformation, dubious treatment of tomoatoes, never read books from lucius malfoy’s library
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 18:59:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11110821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mooseknucklesss/pseuds/Mooseknucklesss
Summary: THIS IS A CRACK FIC! Be warned. Don’t ask me why i wrote this. This is what happens when you join a drarry groupchat.





	Turtle

Harry came into the flat and dropped his keys into the bowl on the table next to the door. The house decorated impeccably by his fussy boyfriend. Their cool grey walls accented by art and photos taken by Dean and little bobs and ends donated by Luna from her trips abroad. He noticed that the house was silent save for the quiet rustle of dinner being prepared on the other side of the house. The kitchen was the best place to be here. It was the reason why he and Draco bought it. It was a pleasant surprise when he found out that his spoilt, upper wizard elite boyfriend could make a mean stew that could give Molly Weasley a run for her money. (Of course he would never tell her that)

He made his way down the hall to the kitchen at a leisurely pace. He was in no rush. His day was already long and all he wanted to do was have a good dinner and bugger his boyfriend until they got noise complaints from the neighbors. A slow smile spread across his face as he neared his destination, hearing Draco mumbling something to himself. Walking through the doorway he saw vegetables being chopped and pasta being boiled by whatever spell Draco was using. Draco on the other hand had his nose buried in a thick textbook that was probably from Mione’s library. Draco started when Harry cleared his throat, scowling as he burst into laughter.

“What’re doing, love?” Harry asked, walking up to Draco and rubbing his shoulders while trying to read the text over his shoulder. It looked clinical almost in is description, but the pictures were…a bit gruesome looking. “Draco?” Harry chuckled nervously, trying to decipher what the hell was going on in the book. Draco sighed as he straightened up and folded his arms. “It’s a book on how to be an Animagus, Harry. Do you really think that after living with He-Who-Must-Not-Sneeze for a bloody year that I’d be reading a grimoire?” Draco challenged. His eyebrow arched while looking down his nose at Harry. Harry could only smile beatifically, fondness in his eyes. “So, it’s coming along then? Your goal to become an animagus? I thought you would spend a lot more time reading theory before you could even think about changing forms.” He said, trying to nuzzle Draco’s neck and distract him as best as he could. Draco immediately went pliant when Harry found the spot behind his ear that drove his boyfriend wild.

Draco closed his eyes and hummed in contentment. He’d been hoping Harry would come home in a frisky mood, but he knew he really needed to finish that book. “Harry. Dinner.” he groaned from a particularly hard nibble. “Mmm” was all the response he received. “Harry, love. I need to finish dinner and this chapter. I think I could do it tonight. I won’t let Blaise best me again. I need to master the spell before he d _oes”_ The last word caught on a moan. The front of Draco’s pants becoming tighter with every kiss and bite. Harry finally let up after a hard suck that would surely leave a mark tomorrow. His eyes half lidded as he took in the disheveled state of his boyfriend and the prominent bulge in Draco’s pants. Draco took a chance by Harry’s distractedness and grabbed his book while ducking under Harry’s arm. “Come on, Draco. This silly bet can wait.” “No, it can not, Harry. I found one of the less harmless books at the manor on Animagus and I intend to master it tonight” Draco stated determinedly. “Draco, are you sure that’s safe? You don’t know what could happen. What if you don’t change back?” worried Harry. He admit that Draco was a very competent wizard, but any book from the Malfoy library should be regarded with suspicion.

“I’m sure, Harry.” Draco said confidently while ending the spell on the draining pasta and the knife chopping cherry tomatoes. He took a deep breath and practiced the wand movements one more time. Harry watching on with amused concern. He knew there wasn’t much he could do to stop Draco once he set his mind to something. All he could do was make sure he was close enough to the floo to call Hermione if things went pear-shaped. “Ok, I’m ready” muttered Draco, sounding not so ready at all. Harry had a feeling this would go all wrong. Draco enunciated the latin and moved his wand with precision before a faint yellow light engulfed him and faded as soon as it came. When Harry’s vision cleared, the spot where Draco was standing before him was suddenly empty. Harry looked around in alarm until he turned his gaze to the floor. Sitting on the hardwood was a pissed-off looking turtle that made all of Harry’s fear ebb as a bubble of laughter found it’s way out of his mouth.

Draco knew something was wrong. He felt all wrong. His back felt stiff and his arms and legs felt like they would get him nowhere. He was small, he knew that much from spotting the frayed bottoms of Harry’s jeans and trainers in his line of sight. And there was he extremely loud noise that was lightly muffled. He didn’t know what was happening. Suddenly Draco was being lifted and found himself in the face of a laughing Harry Potter. He scowled as best as he could in his animal form which seemed to drive Harry further into his hysterical laughing.  _‘How boorish’_ , Draco thought while wiggling his extremities. This as well seemed to make Harry wheeze as tearful laughter shook his whole body and the hand the was holding Draco. Draco wiggled more aggressively and scowled even harder, forcing Harry to put him down on the countertop before dropping his boyfriend. Laughing so hard that his stomach hurt, Harry took a few calming breaths, turning his back on Draco so that he may finally stop laughing.

Draco tried to turn his head fruitlessly to see what Harry was doing, mad at him for putting him on the bloody counter like he was some house pet. After a minute or so, Harry finally stepped back in his line of sight. He was able to see his face fully now instead of those horrendous shoes, which he reminded himself to toss once he was human again. Harry stared at him biting his bottom lip, laughter threatening to bubble up again as he tried to reign himself in. Draco looked back, pleading with his beady little eyes for Harry to tell him what the hell was going on. But before he could convey his message Harry was speaking again. The words muffled yet Draco could read his lips as  Harry spoke slowly.  _‘Going to call Hermione and see if she knows a way to change you back’_ Was what he grasped from the hurried lip reading. Buggering hell, he did not want Granger to know about his cock up. Draco tried to walk to Harry across the countertop before he went into the sitting room, but whatever kind of arms and legs he had were not working in his favor. 

Draco examined his surroundings as he waited for Harry to return. He could see the salad he was preparing before he changed and felt himself getting hungry. He should’ve eaten beforehand. Maybe he should’ve waited until tomorrow. At least he would have been able to enjoy a nice dinner with Harry and maybe be fucked five ways from Sunday. That would have been nice. He and Harry hadn’t had sex in almost a week. Draco was working long hours at Mungo’s and Harry had a string of potion ring raids all week. He was so horny. Whatever animal form this was sure did have a strong libido. Draco could feel himself getting more and more turned on. He realized with a start that staring at this particular cherry tomato really heightened the feeling. Something was stirring inside himself.

 He could feel his small body gravitating toward the vegetable.  _‘What am I doing?’_ he chastised himself as his body would not stop it’s trek toward the tomato. For some reason it was so…so… _sexy. ‘WHAT?!’_ he shrieked in his mind.  _‘NO NO NO NO NO’_ , but he couldn’t stop. His animal body was on a mission. He finally made it to the tomato, not actually knowing how long it took for him to get there. Surely a call with Granger would not take so long. Where was Harry?! Draco tried one last time to stop himself, but to no avail. He nuzzled the tomato, then found himself mounting it. It’s perfect red skin glistening in the fluorescent light.  _‘Im sorry, Harry. I am sooo sorry’_  he thought as he started to thrust against the fruit. It felt so **_GOOD_**. Why did it feel so good? He heard a squeaking noise that he soon realized was coming from him. _How mortifying._ But he couldn’t stop. He was so close. So so close, and it felt so good. He didn’t know what would happen when he reached climax but he knew he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. 

Without warning his tiny body shuddered with his climax and he let out a very loud, very satisfied squeak. Then the glow started. It startled him out of his post-orgasmic bliss, and engulfed his body in warm light. Suddenly he was a full grown man on his countertop. Salad mix strewn about from his sudden growth and a tomato under his bum. He chuckled to himself and made a promise to never take a book from the Malfoy library before consulting his father. Just then Harry strode back into the kitchen clutching a long piece of parchment and wearing a surprised look. “You changed back!” Harry exclaimed, striding towards Draco with open arms. Draco dodged Harry’s advances but kissed him on the cheek instead. “Yea. I think I’m gonna head to bed now, I’m beat.” Draco replied stepping towards the stairs. “I thought we could eat and have a little fun” Harry called down the hall wearing a hopeful expression, eyeing the tomato stain on Draco’s bum. “I think I’m alright Potter. Goodnight!” Draco called cheerfully as he made his way to the bedroom, laughing to himself at Harry’s flabbergasted face. Goodnight indeed.


End file.
